When Your Confidence Makes Other People Uncomfortable
- Carrie Robertson
- Jun 7
- 2 min read
One of my clients recently told me that someone she considered a ride-or-die friend for years stopped speaking to her after she shared her boudoir photos. Not an acquaintance. Not someone she barely knew.
Someone she genuinely loved and trusted.
At first, that sounds unbelievable. A friend should celebrate your confidence, right?
But the truth is, many women discover something painful when they start stepping into their confidence: not everyone who loved the version of you that was struggling will be comfortable with the version of you that's thriving.
I've seen it happen in boudoir. I've seen it happen in business. I've seen it happen in my own life.
Sometimes the people you cheer for don't cheer for you back. Sometimes the people who say they support women become strangely quiet when another woman succeeds. Sometimes your growth is met with criticism instead of celebration.
I've had people stop supporting my business. I've had people make comments about my body after losing weight. Prior to losing weight I was told by a client she chose me because I was bigger. Regardless of how that felt to hear, it taught me something important: people often become attached to the version of us that makes them comfortable. When we change, they have to decide whether they're willing to grow with us. Not everyone will. Learning that confidence makes people uncomfortable was one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a business owner.
The hard truth is that confidence acts like a spotlight. It doesn't just reveal how you see yourself it reveals how others see you, too.
Women often walk into a boudoir session thinking they'll learn something about themselves. What they don't expect is learning something about the people around them. The people you thought would be standing in the front row cheering for you. The people you were certain would celebrate your happiness. The people you would have bet money would never make you feel alone. And sometimes, surprisingly, they aren't the ones clapping.
If your confidence costs you a relationship, that relationship may have been built on conditions you never knew existed. Real friendship isn't threatened by your success, your happiness, your healing, your weight loss, your business growth, or your confidence.
The right people won't ask you to stay small so they can stay comfortable. They'll stand beside you, celebrate your wins, and remind you exactly who you are.
Ask me how I know.
I prefer to be the woman who celebrates you. The woman who supports you in all your endeavors. The woman who claps when you win, even when nobody is watching.
Because the world has enough critics.
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