We've all been there whether we aim to confront it or run from it. We are all guilty of standing in front of the mirror, picking ourselves apart. We've allowed something or someone rob us of our self-love. For what? It isn’t your fault - not entirely. You didn't plant the seed of doubt; however, you did water it allowing it to grow. Insecurities tend to create a wound that we don't allow to heal. Unfortunately, it is more often than not we do this maybe without realizing it until it is too late.
Right now you are either thinking - she gets me, or you are telling me to cool my jets I'm coming in way too hot.
Hang onnnnnn! Just hear me out - give me a chance to explain 😊. I feel I can say all this because I’ve been right there, in those shoes. Just like you, I have hurt while those around me never knew. I’ve felt like no one in my circle understood the pain that I was feeling when the reality is they were living in it with me. This type of negativity can affect the relationships you are in. More often than not, we don't realize that children pick up on the smallest of things. When children look up to you and see you being negative to yourself, it can set a precedent for them to do it to themselves. Persistent negativity can have a influence on any romantic relationship you have causing it to suffer.
I have fallen victim to allowing another human who is an equal take something from me that was never intended to be theirs, to begin with, which did more damage than one may think. I found myself tangled in the web of self-doubt, anxiety, anger, frustration, isolation, and jealousy. Just speaking from experience, it is damn near impossible to dig your way back out. If you are like anything like me, I pushed it away, I wasn’t ready to face it; I was unsure how to handle it. I kept telling myself when the “time came” I’d confront it - which was a complete and utter lie. That's just it - I had to I LIED so much I made myself believe it. I never had any intentions what so ever to face my insecurities out of fear. I feared my own acceptence I was afraid I wouldn't be able to see my own value.
It is every boudoir experience that my client comes tp confront something they have let take over their life for far too long. One of the many great things about boudoir is that it gives you the confidence to tell self-doubt to shut the fuck up and to sit the hell down. To heal, you must be ready to take risks! Unfortunately, sitting idle won't get you anywhere.
Self-love is a journey, it isn’t easy by no means it isn’t a journey everyone is prepared to take. It takes an individual who is ready to confront what they have been running from. The fact is we all have insecurities - we all take different paths to self-love, but there is no wrong path some just take a few detours. The best part is you are in full control! I have a fantastic job, there is no doubt about that, however; one of the many things I love most is being with clients as they confronted their own insecurities. With that being said my clients have given me the strength to continue confront my own. There will always be good days as well as bad days, but on the bad days, boudoir has given me the tools to shut that shit up. I know I will never be a model - nor do I ever want to be, I will never be skinny, I will never have the perfect stomach, butt, or the amazing legs. Guess what? I am okay with that because I won't allow those things to devalue my own self-worth or my happiness
Honestly, it took me stepping on the other side of the camera, allowing myself to see what I looked like through someone else’s eyes. This wasn’t easy by no means - I was vulnerable, stripped down, and completely insecure. But, I knew how important it was to go into the experience with an open mind if I planned on getting anything from it. I knew I wanted the change so bad, so I came prepared to face whatever it was I had been running from.
It’s time to stop lying to yourself and stop making excuses. Do something for you - you deserve it.